Summer Soiree 8

Well, I always say before every Summer Soiree that “this will be the last one!” Last year, in 2024, I was definitely saying Summer Soiree 7 was going to be the last one because it was a dream come true. DanJoMar- Joe Jack Talcum and Dandrew of the Dead Milkmen with Marshall Fischer- played an ALL RAMONES set to celebrate the Ramones’ 50th anniversary. It was kind of a perfect full circle moment.

And then, the day came and DanJoMar did play… and it was astoundingly great. Like beyond my wildest expectations. And at that moment, I was thinking to myself “I can do any show ever. I’m unstoppable! I can’t lose!” And then… I had two shows in a row that ranged from “woof… rough…” to disaster.

And so, I didn’t really want to end on that note, even though, at times, I did want to end on that note. But instead, the possibility of a Dwarves show arose and I knew I had to do one FINAL summer soiree.

But, a summer soiree can’t just be one cool band- it has to be an event. So, I reached out to Hip hop icon, gangsta rap founder, Philly emcee, Schoolly-D. I tried to book Schoolly once before but it didn’t quite work. So this time, I moved some things around on my side of the table and was able to book the icon himself, Schoolly- D. Little did I know at the time, Schoolly-D is the favorite emcee of the Dwarves own Blag Dahlia! Blag was as psyched as I was. On top of that, I booked long running Philly punkers the Noid, newish goth rock supergroup Lips of Kohl, and Philly riot grrls Pink Soap.

Oh, also, I booked Henry Thugsworth and the Severinator- two twelve-year-old rappers.

The four months between booking the show and the date of the actual show blasted by in an instant, in part, because I “had” to make 13 special edition album covers for the dwarves (limited to 20 copies each), as well as THREE limited edition dwarves records. Thanks to Lathe Cutter Consonant Collective, run by Joe C, I was able to make three exclusive Dwarves records for the show: A Dwarves cover the Ramones two-track single limited to 40 copies, a “35th anniversary compact attack” edition of the Dwarves classic Blood, Guts, and Pussy cut on an 8-inch record (as opposed to a full LP) and limited to 20 copies; and my personal Sistine chapel- The Dwarves Live on Speed an entire live album cut to square 8-inch vinyl, which just like the album it parodied, Who Live at Leeds, included a fold out jacket, five rippers on side A and two extended jams on side B, and an astounding TWELVE inserts… and I don’t even really like Who!

Well, the day of the show rolled around, and as usual, I was nervous about the backline. I always make bands share the backline to quicken changeover, but that means if even ONE person is late for set up/line check, it can throw the whole show out of whack. Well, yet again, I got lucky because, well, people were late, but not THAT late.

So, doors opened right at 7pm with, frankly, little drama. As doorwoman Ginger checked people in, I went around handing out glow bracelets as inspired by rave culture- something I have never been a part of. People asked me “what are the glow bracelets for?” My answer: Uh… fun!”

People flocked to the merch table to pick up some of the rare dwarves records and I will say, it was so rewarding to see months of hard work pay off so tangibly. What a thrill.

Just before 7:30, I ran up to the bathroom to put on my “Punknews Tuxedo”, which after eight years of use, has degraded into a top hat, a white suit shirt, the blue Punknews blazer with the Power P on the back, black jeans, whatever shoes I am wearing, and $5 top hat, and a blue bow tie… except my blue bow tie literally exploded as I put it on after eight faithful years, so the Punknews tuxedo is more like a “punknews carnival barker suit” now.

Anyways, at 7:30, the intro to Leslie Gore’s “Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows” cut across the speakers before explosion sounds racked the place. I ran on stage, threw about 10 roses into the crowd, and as Diplo’s “Express yourself” thundered out and I yelled “Philadelphia, make some noise!” The crowd, packed by now, did indeed go nuts, ready to cut loose on a Thursday night. I realize I had forgotten my cue sheet, so I just yelled random things at the audience, between shouting out the sponsors. Game, the crowd yelled back when I yelled “When I say hey, you say ho!” After about three minutes of hooliganism, I introduced the bands, starting with rock legends the dwarves and working down the bill and finally getting to, “Philadelphia, they are philly’s most dangerous rappers, they’re crazy, they’re wild, and they are twelve years old, it’s Henry thugsworth and the Severinator!!!”

I then jumped into the crowd as Henry and Severin broke into their set. And yes, they are 12 and that means their set is over the top, hilarious, and a little avant-garde. Dwarves crowds being the best and there to have fun, you would have thought that the Beastie Boys themselves were there as the crowd cheered and had a total blast. I should add that its really impressive that two 12 year old KIDS could hold down a 15 minute set and keep the audience of 250 all the way through. One of their songs was “I’m going to infect your computer with malware.” It was hilarious and awesome.

Due to having six bands on a show, Pink Soap took to the stage right away. It was a bit poignant because just over a year ago, they played their first ever show at Summer Soiree 7, and here they we replaying their second to last show before going on hiatus. Ready for battle, the band ripped right into their set. Sometimes the band is a little grunge, sometimes they are a little rock, sometimes they are a little punk. This set was waaay into the punk side of things and they slammed into their hard hitting tune “Bitch.” It was a cross of Bikini Kill and Hole, and was a total smasher. Their other tunes, including an ode to “diet coke, also ripped it up and the audience was wowed, yet again.

Around that time, Schoolly-D arrived. I asked him if he wanted any food or drink and he said, “I usually have a cake.” I responded, “Uh… do you mean like… like a birthday cake?” He said, “you know, a Philly cake.” I guessed he meant a Tastykake, which is Philadelphia’s version of a Hostess treat. Also, he asked if he could have a guest list. I said sure. He asked to guest “Big Poppa, Big Trigger, DJ Too Tuff, Chain Dog,” and two other people. Schoolly-D is the real frikkin deal.

I literally ran around the corner to the corner store. I grabbed a donut, some sort of Mexican cake, a wrapped Danish, and something that looked like a cake but was not. I returned to Philamoca and delivered said cakes. Schoolly-D was SHOCKED by the amount of cake and cake items I delivered unto him.

Next, Lips of Kohl took the stage. They’ve been around about six months and are getting better with every show. It helps that their songs are killer. A mix between Siouxsie Sioux and Danzig, the band played songs like “Black summer,” “I like it when you cry,” and a cover of Samhain’s “Archangel.” The crowd was way into the half-serious, half-kitschy spookiness and the band was a great counterpoint between the two punk bands bookending them.

After Lips of Kohl, my selection of 80s reggae rumbled through the crowd (as it did between every set) while the Noid set up. I opted for something to be a counterpoint to the aggressive bang of punk rock, and loaded the between band tracks with tunes including “Pass the dutchie,” “Electric slide,” “Girl, I’m gonna make you sweat,” as well as some more heavier duty tracks like “Golden Hen,” “Driver A,” and “Me nah bleach.” It can be a gamble to present the crowd with music that is the opposite of the concert, but it was wild to see the people grooving and dancing. Plus, when the punk does kick in, it hits that much harder.

Shortly thereafter, the Noid took to the stage. They ripped into their own brand of punk, which is equal parts Misfits, Clash, and a lil’ west coast hardcore. It was the perfect balance between the earlier acts and the band next on the list. Singer Tony Cadaver really does have an amazing voice and the entire band was on point. The band smashed through a 25 minute set and knocked it out of the park.

Just before Schoolly-D was set to go on, Henry and Severin came to me and said that they wanted to introduce Schoolly-D and that he was cool with it. So, I ran over to the sound guy and said, “change of plans, we are not going to do Schoolly D’s intro track, rather, the kids are going to intro him.” The sound guy grumbled. THEN, Snupac, drummer of the dwarves, came to me and said that Schoolly’s first song was going to have Snupac drumming. So, I ran back over to the soudnguy and told him the same… and he grumbled some more.

FINALLY, we were ready to go. Henry and Severin took to the stage and, frankly, did a most excellent intro that was somewhat similar in cadence to someone else’s intro. I was tickled pink at influencing the youth. BUT, Schoolly did NOT take the stage. Rather, his crew took the stage including a guy in ski boots and a welding mask. I realized that Schoolly’s crew were the people on his guest list. Why didn’t he just tell me what was part of his act?

Anyway, the crew got the crowd even more hyped and then… Snupac, on drums, busted into the Aqua Teen Hunger Force beat! Schoolly blasted on stage and immediately busted into that neo-classic. The crowd lost. Their. Minds. Schoolly mentioned that he wrote the song in 30 seconds and then immediately rocked right into “Gucci time,” the all time classic. Meanwhile, his crew provided counter-raps and background hyping while the entire room boomed with the sound of the bass.

Honestly, I was blown away at how incredible Schoolly-D was. The guy is a legend, but he probably doesn’t get the props he should. His live set made that even more mystifying because he was Hip Hop incarnate. He rolled from one mega jam to the next, with a few unreleased tracks thrown in for good measure, and the guy was so incredibly on point, so loose but so snappy, that it was literally one of the best Hip Hop shows that I’ve ever seen. In fact, he was so on fire that he was only scheduled for 25 minutes, but did a full 45 minute set. He left the stage to rapturous applause and it just goes to show why everyone, from Ice Cube to KRS to Chuck D to Ice to Jay Z to whomever, cites Schoolly D as THE dude.

And then it was time for the might Dwarves… except, as it turns out, I was told that Schoolly D was going to intro the band. So, I ran over to the soundguy to let him know that Schoolly D would do the intro and we would not use the pre-loaded instrumental intro. He, uh, grumbled a lot.

Well, anyway, Schoolly D went back on the stage and shouted out the dwarves and the crowd went NUTS. The band jumped up on stage and ripped into “Dominator.” And frankly, the title was right. With Blag on vocals, Rex Everything on bass, Mike Pygmie on guitar, and Snupac on drums, the band was jacked up and ready to smash it up.

The fact of the matter is, there are NO whack dwarves songs, so every set is always a killer. But, I don’t know what it was, but as this show, the band really came to slay. They slammed through all the mega-hits “Back seat of my car,” “Dairy Queen,” “Drug store,” “speed demon,” “I will deny,” etc etc etc etc etc etc etc. They also slammed through some new classics including “roxette” and “ voodoo,” and thyee ven played a brand new, kcik ass unreleased song- “We are the scene.”

Being the dwarves, the songs were fast and furious with hit after hit after hit with NO downtime… well… except…. Early on, rex Everything’s mic cut out. If you remember Summer Soiree 6, the monitor cut out and for some bizarre reason, yours truly was the only person that jumped in to fix the issue, even though I know NOTHING about gear. Well, when Rex’s mic cut out, I was having Vietnam style flashbacks. “not again!” I ran around the venue, looking for mics while a few people got a little onery. I felt alone in the desert. The guy with the least amount of knowledge stuck trying to fox something that he has no idea about. Well, after messing around with a bunch of cables and mics for what felt like three hours (it was actually about 180 seconds), we got the gear back up and running and the band slammed back into it.

Midway through, Caitlin of Pink Soap came on stage and did a duet with Blag for “We will dare.” It was crazy how many on stage collaborations happened during the night.

As the band jumped into “We must have blood,” I ran back into the green room. Once they snapped into their final song, “unrepentant,” I tossed about 300 balloons onto the crown while Tony of the Noid threw down 30 pool noodles from the balcony and three blowup dolls. People did put the blow-up dolls to use. It was almost a euphoric moment as the ballons and pool noodles were thrown around and whacked around while the dwarves played one of their hardest hitting numbers as a grand finale.

And with that giant bang, the show was over with a handbrake stop. I mean, don’t take my word for it, ask around- the crowd had a pretty killer time. I could tell as we handed out goodie bags as they made their way out the door. Due to the fact that all the bands killed, due to the fact that Schoolly-D just blew everyone away, due to the fact that the Dwarves played a nuclear blast of a set, and due to the fact that there was so much spontaneous on stage collaboration between the bands which really underscored just how magical art can be, the evening really did feel extra special.

Now usually, this is the part where I say, “OK, that’s it, no more soirees!” But, I’m so close to soiree 10… I can’t stop now, can I? Am I jinxing my self? I can’t stop now, can I?

Oh, also, as always, I swept up, took out the trash, picked up all the discarded cans, and cleaned the venue after everyone left- yet again, the highest and lowest man on the totem pole. It wouldn’t be a soiree without that part, either.

AND LAST TIME, CHECK OUT OUR VERY RAD SPONSORS! (THEY HAVE COOL STUFF!)< 2>ALSO, because this show is a larger scale operation than our previous soirees, we got some very, very, very cool sponsors to help out with the show! You absolutely must check out:

REVILLA GROOVES AND GEAR in Milltown, NJ! They have an insane selection of new records that come in daily! They've got some ultra-deals and some ultra, ultra rare stuff on the wall. They also have a great punk section (I got Stations of the Crass there!) Plus, twice a year they have a massive dollar sale of tens of thousands of records and it is a real blast! check them out here!.

ROCK N ROLL KNIFE FIGHT in Landsdowne, PA! RNRKF rules Delaware county! They have an awesome selection of punk clothes, jewelry, and accessories. They've got all kinds of cool things you'd never think that you would see! PLUS they have some very cool original art AND some very rare CDs! Check them out here!.

SKY VALLEY RECORDS in Somerdale, New Jersey! You want punk, metal, goth, industrial and all the mean stuff in South Jerz? THIS is the place for you! They are CONSTANTLY getting in cool new records, too! (I got a very rare Bauhaus LP here once…) This place rocks! Check them out here!.

HEAVY METAL HAIR SALON IN PHILLY! HMHS does really cool, really far out cuts and styles! You have got to check out their instagram where they do some insanely cool dos. Vivid colors, shags, mullets, and tooth gems, they bare top experts! check them out here!

ANGRY, YOUNG, AND POOR in Lancaster, PA! This is THE punk shop in Lancaster county. They have a killer selection of new and used punk records, as well as sokme cool clothes, posters, and a ton of other stuff AND they've got a great mailorder where you can get some rare LPs and CDs! Check them out here!.

RAINBOW RECORDS in Newark, Delaware! Rainbow is just down the street from UoD and they have ALL the big hit new records. AND, they have a TON of used records including a great $5 bin! (I got an Iggy Pop there once…) Also, be sure to check out the CDs in the back… some very rare ones are there… and be sure to check out their mystery bags! You won't be disappointed! Check them out here!.

SIREN RECORDS in Doylestown, PA! If you want records in Bucks county then Siren Records is THE PLACE to be. They bring in new records all the time and if you want the hits, they've got 'em! Also, they have a knack for picking up killer used collections! Check them out here!!

SIT N SPIN RECORDS in Philly! DUDE, Sit and Spin is THE punk shop in Philly. They are just ALWAYS getting in very, very, very cool punk titles, new and used, Lps and singles. They also have a TON of metal. You want the ultra-rare? They got it! You want the cheapies? They got it! And they do mail order! Punx seal of approval. Check them out here!.

REPO RECORDS in Philly! Repo is an INSTITUTION! Every day, they get in cool used records, cool new ones, and they have an amazing CD selection! cheap hits and some rare stuff! And, they have a cat the runs the place- Sir Flatermause! AND, they have a Dwarves poster in the bathroom… Check them out here!

PRINCETON RECORD EXCHANGE in Princeton! PREX is an institution. Every day they get a TOOOON of used records in and let me tell you, they go out the same day! Their discount CD wall is a thing of legend, stocked with the hits and some rare stuff, including EU import CD EPs! Also, they have a ton of NEW records and a GREAT $1 bin. Check them out here!.

VINYL REVIVAL in Lansdowne, PA!Vinyl revival has a rad selection of new and used records.Also, they host live shows and even movie screenings. On top of that, they have a bunch of fun stuff like shirts, record players, weirdo stuff, AND they get in some real great goodies for RSD! check them out here!

SQUEEZEBOX RECORDS in Wilmington, Delawar !< b>Squeezebox records has an awesome collection of new and used records! They also have cool stuff popping up all the time like vintage t-shirts and turntables, AND they have live shows at the store! check them out here!